I remember sitting across from the psychiatrist—brown suit, clipboard, barely looking at me while deciding how much longer I’d be held there. I was in a hospital gown, stripped of everything that made me feel human, deemed a danger to myself.

And then, almost casually, he said: “You’re a smart girl. You shouldn’t even be here.”

That statement landed like a punch in my gut. As if being smart was supposed to protect me from ending up in that chair, across from him, infuriated. As if knowing things should have saved me from my pain.

That moment stayed with me forever. Because I knew then—clearly, the problem cannot be my intellect. I didn’t need more insight. I needed something else entirely. Something that could reach the places that insight never touched.

It took me almost a decade to find it, but alas -- I am one of the fortunate ones ... I chose to engage.

It took me almost a decade to find it, but alas—I am one of the fortunate ones…I chose to engage.

And looking back now, it’s so clear why nothing else worked.
I didn’t need more information. I didn’t need more strategies. I didn’t need more insight.

Because insight doesn’t shift identity. It only gives you more language to describe what’s been keeping you stuck.

I learned the hard way: understanding why you’re stuck doesn’t get you unstuck. The real shift happens when you stop trying to fix your behavior… and start shifting the internal context that’s been shaping your life from the inside out.

Why insight doesn’t lead to real change

I know the frustration of doing the work and feeling like nothing changes. I know what it’s like to sit in therapy, connect the dots, understand the root cause of a trigger… and still get swept up in it the next time it happens.

That’s because most healing work focuses on content—on the stories, on the triggers, on the behavior. But the real power lies in shifting context of who you are. Otherwise, you remain programmed to be predictable.

For example, if you consider yourself a smoker, you can never quit smoking no matter how hard you try. Why? Because to shift a habit, you have to shift your beliefs about yourself, who you are, your relationships, and your capacity to choose differently. That’s just how The Predictable Structure of Thought works – identity is a higher order context than behaviour or strategy. So if you want to quit smoking, you have to shift your identity of “smoker”.

The only way to do that is to engage your body.

We all know about somatic healing and the power of relief through release of the body. There is so much information that the body retains over its lifetime. The body isn’t just a container for your mind. It is a processing device of signals – signals from the outside, signals stored as truth on the inside, signals from the truth of the moment. The body is where pain is stored. The body is where the patterns you absorbed before you had language live. The body holds the memories you cannot recall, but still dictate your life.

No matter how hard you try, you cannot override a system that’s been processing information since the moment of conception.
No matter how much effort you put in to understand yourself, you cannot make an iota of a difference with a device that processes billions of bits of information per second.
No matter how smart you are and how many books you’ve read, if you don’t learn to speak the language of the body you will never decode its messages.

Perhaps you will have momentary relief, but not lasting transformation. Because insight without integration keeps you stuck in familiar loops.

Real change happens only when you shift the internal constructs of self that have been shaping your responses. Which means you must move beyond managing triggers and instead integrating the patterns at their root. That is what Decloaking offers.

Decloaking: the first step in remembering who you are

If you’ve ever felt stuck in the cycle of knowing better but not doing better, you’re not alone. Insight is powerful, but it’s not enough—lasting change happens when you shift the deeper internal structures of identity.

That’s exactly what we explore inside Decloaking: a five-day live experience to help you break free from the patterns you didn’t even know were running your life, and reconnect to the truth inside your body. Enrollment for October is open now, and we’re keeping it intimate—just eight women.
👉 Join Decloaking here

Next week, I’ll share what helped me shift faster than anything else I tried—what made the difference between circling old patterns and finally stepping into who I really am.

Until then, I’m here when you’re ready.

With respect ...