As you read this, I’m on my way to Tadoussac for some whale watching and camping—out on the rocks by the river.

Wish me luck with the whales… and with avoiding sea sickness!

This is a trip that’s been 12 years in the making. I’ve always avoided it—too long of a drive, too much sea sickness—but here we are. The things we do for the people we love.

Part of why I’m saying yes this year is because my son is five —right in that stage where his body is soaking in everything, imprinting memories that will shape how he moves through the world.

It reminded me of how much of who we become gets built in these early years… which is exactly what we’re talking about today.

This moment is who he’s becoming—and who I’m becoming alongside him.

What are the invisible forces that shape your life?

The global culture of our time teaches us to focus our attention on behavior. On what we do, or naming the patterns we can see. Then we are encouraged to engage a different behaviour, instead. That’s what my experience of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy was – if you don’t like what you’re doing, do something else.

But the truth is, your life isn’t created by your behavior. It’s created by the invisible identity structure underneath it—the internal context that invisibly yet powerfully shapes who you believe yourself to be.

Your internal context is formed long before you have conscious awareness.

It’s shaped by your family system, your culture, your early environment.

It’s shaped by the things you were told were true and the things you were punished for feeling.

It’s shaped by your response to your environment that created your habits – the survival mechanisms that were installed before you ever had a choice.

Why would I say that? Because – the most powerful imprinting happens before the age of seven.

During this time, your brain operates primarily in theta state—a highly suggestible, subconscious state where everything you experience gets absorbed without filters. This is when you take in the unspoken rules of your family. This is when you learn what earns you love and what gets you rejected. This is where you develop the strategies that allow you to survive, even if it means abandoning yourself.

And because these patterns are installed before you can think critically, they become the default operating system of your life. They run in the background, dictating how you respond to conflict, how you relate to yourself, and how you experience the world around you. They are invisible because you’ve never really known life without them.

A little glimpse into how the brain processes and stores experience. Want to dive deeper into how this shapes your life? You can explore the full workshop here.

This is why you can spend years in therapy, gain incredible insight, and still find yourself reacting in ways you wish you wouldn’t. This is why you can logically know you are worthy, yet still feel small when it matters most. The problem isn’t your knowledge—it’s the context inside you that keeps recreating the same experience.

If you want to keep going now, you can read the full blog here.

Next week, I’m diving into why insight isn’t enough—and what actually works to create lasting internal change. It’s the difference between intellectual awareness and real, embodied transformation. You won’t want to miss it.

And if you already know you’re done circling the same patterns, this is the exact shift we explore inside Decloaking—a five-day live experience designed to help you see the invisible patterns you’ve been living from… and reclaim the truth that’s always been there.

Enrollment for October is open now, with limited spaces.
👉 Join Decloaking here

I’m here when you’re ready.

With respect ...