Today marks the day my husband was born, a marvelous 38 years ago. So I want to take a moment and write about how I manifested him into my life. You ready?
My Jacob is one of those people whose Presence lodged in my mind like static light—pixelated, unforgettable, etched into the corners of my memory from the very first moment I saw him sitting across from me in our Human Rights course during our Master’s, clear as day yet impossible to describe in words.
I didn’t know what I didn’t know then, but now I know that the reason he was so notable from the beginning was because he was The One for me (despite how long it took me to finally claim that, but that’s for another story).
Today’s story is about manifestation. It’s about using the power of intention plus choosing to manifest magic. To believe it to be possible and be on the lookout for it, willing to receive.
My intention was to attract the right person for me after a seven year abusive relationship. I was unwavering in my pursuit, and I was relentless in it, despite being otherwise totally lost to myself (yet somehow the most connected to me that I had been until that point in my life).
The intentional woman that unintentionally set me on this intentional path
There I was, twenty-something years old, at a random party as per usual on a Saturday. High and drunk and certain that there is more to life than this.
I look around and I see hurt people pretending to not be hurt. I can feel my ex’s presence here, through these people, because they are his friends and I know it. But, I’m pretending too because right now, I need to be here.
A woman shows up in my awareness. She is being picked up by her husband. I could see how joyful she was to be in his presence, and him in hers.
This was... strange. All I had known my whole life and despite my best efforts was pain.
My ex caused me pain and I caused him pain and my parents caused me pain and I caused them pain and my siblings caused me pain and I caused them pain — as you can see, all I believed to be true knew is that intimacy = pain.
But this woman’s experience was different, and I knew, clear as daylight, I want it.
So I decided to talk to her. I asked her about her life with her husband.
I am grateful for her clarity — she adored her relationship, and I wanted to know more.
I shared with her some of my story, with which she was familiar because it was similar to her story, too.
So I asked her about her story and how she ended up with a husband she so clearly adores and a relationship of joy. I wanted to know The Secret. And she told me.
“Write everything you want in a partner down and do not settle, no matter what.”
This was my first and most powerful lesson in manifesting.
Now, I did not write everything down, but I did spend the next two years playing and exploring men.
I wanted to know what I wanted in a man, and I found out through a process of elimination.
I didn’t have the words back then, but what I did is let my inner cues guide me. The nanosecond something felt off — even if it didn’t make any “sense”, I chose to pay attention to it. I chose to own it as true. And I chose to dump that guy and move on.
I didn’t date. I didn’t pretend. I didn’t lie.
The thing is, that without fully knowing it then, I was intentional with how I went about this-discovering-what-I-want-by-eliminating-what-I-definitively-don’t-want journey of self-discovery that would lead to finding my partner.
I knew I wanted to manifest the love of my life (not the words I would have used back then), and the only way to do that is to trust my internal cues when I meet him that he’s The One.
Enter Jacob.
The strangest person I had met who left an immense impression on me every time I’d see him.
But, thankfully, we friend-zoned each other pretty quickly.
So we spent the next year just being friends. We would talk for hours until three in the morning. We’d go for sushi and he’d eat vegetarian. I thought he was nuts! — wasting his money on NO meat, what even is the point of living?! It’s true — I was dramatic AF. ‘Twas my flair. But nonetheless, Jacob’s cool-as-a-cucumber congruent state of being was intriguing, to say the least.
He didn’t flinch from what he knew to be true for him, and he had no interest in convincing me to change my mind. He argued me — devil’s advocate, he’d call it, and I loved it — but he never tried to change me.
He was full of surprises, like that time he surprise picked me up in his hot-red-sports-car he’d just fixed up. He drove me to school and back, just to hang out. He took me kickboxing. He took me picnicking in the most beautiful spots around Ottawa. He was just nice.
Perhaps looking back this could be considered courting, and I know that wasn’t either one of our intentional intention.
I didn’t know this then, but I do now: we took it slow and emerged into a couple through friendship. That was one of the wisest choices for me because I needed the time and space to be certain. I needed to trust wholeheartedly that he is The One.
And when I did after that bizarre food-poisoning adventure, a story for another time, I was so certain that he The One there was no going back.
Our story is an epic love story.
Truly, it’s like a fairytale come true — only it’s not like a fairytale at all. It’s real. It’s rooted in deep respect, intimacy, care, and trust.
And because of that, we are where we are today. I would change not a hair on his gorgeous bald head.
Happy birthday you beautiful man, you! 💋
I choose you every fucking (life)time.
P.S. This is how manifestation works — not from effort, but from congruence and alignment. When your body says yes and you listen, the universe responds.
In the name of generosity, here’s my gift from me to you:
The Authentic Living Library.
This is a free collection of resources to help you in your journey of remembering who you are beneath the static and the endless chatter.
The formats (guided audios, courses, guides, and self-explorations) and themes (awakening, boundaries, leadership, power) vary, but the invitation remains — choose what’s meaningful for you in the moment, let go of what was, and be willing to be found.
An authentic life is possible.
I created this library to help you discover and trust that that an authentic life is possible for you.
