A few days ago, I was having lunch with a client I’ve known for seven years. She’s done a lot of work on herself. She’s intuitive, thoughtful, grounded. She's also stoic and heroic -- like first born daughters tend to be.
At one point in our conversation, she revealed an epiphany quietly:
“My parents… they weren’t very nice.”
It took her 62 years, but she could finally see it.
What was she doing for 62 years, instead? Well, like is typical for all first born daughters everywhere, she was trying to fix their problems. She was the peace-making middleman making sure everyone knows everyone’s side of the story.
She called this “help”, but I called it “meddling”. At first, that stung. But then, it made sense.
We kept talking. Gently. Honestly.
And then she said, almost laughing—but not quite:
“If I keep going here, I might have to admit that… maybe I’m not always nice either.”
I shook my head, yup.
As the conversation went on, she shared how proud she’s been that she doesn’t fight with her husband. No raised voices, no dramatic arguments.
She didn’t fight like her mother. But she did initiate the first jab. She did not explode, but she made sharp comments.
As we explored a bit deeper, the pattern became clear: While the form of the fighting had changed, the energy of the pattern had not.
“I swore I would never be like her,” she whispered. “I was so proud of myself because I thought I don’t fight with my husband…”
Though the form of the fight wore a different costume, the pattern was the same.
For 62 years, she couldn’t see it. And then—in one honest, painful, liberating conversation—she could.
She cried. We breathed. And slowly, a new truth began to rise:
When we take ownership of our patterns—not just intellectually, but viscerally—we reclaim our power.
It’s not about blame. It’s about liberation.
Because now? Now she’s free to choose something different. To actually create the relationship she’s always craved. To meet her husband in truth—not perform peace while her body holds a war.
And if the relationship can’t hold her truth?
She can walk away—without regret.
Because when we stop trying to not be someone else, and start becoming who we truly are, we get to choose love from a place of alignment, not adaptation.
And that… changes everything.
The woman in this story had already completed our signature program, Decloaking and Living Authentically.
She had done the deep work of seeing, feeling, and reclaiming.
But in that moment—with a simple conversation and one breath—something new revealed itself.
Because the work of personal evolution is never really done.
It evolves as you do.
Layers upon layers ...
Next steps...
✨ If you’re new to my work:
And you’re realizing it’s time to stop gathering information and start becoming, you can begin right now.
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