I didn’t want to write this, Reader, because it’s vulnerable to reveal. Yet I knew, that’s exactly why I need to write it. To speak this out loud and let the right people into my intimate inner world.
This piece is for the woman who’s spiritually fluent but secretly suffocating. For the one with a library of tools and a calendar full of calls—but still waking up wondering what the heck is wrong with her. For the woman who knows there’s more… and is tired of pretending she doesn’t yet she has no idea how to live what she knows.
I didn’t write this for the masses. I wrote it for you.
If you feel that, pause. Breathe. Make a cuppa tea, and read like you’re ready to receive.
This blog isn’t advice – it’s an invitation to live differently, showcased through my experience. Read on if you’re curious.
Of if you’d rather listen than read, you can sit with the audio version of this here.
This isn’t an invitation to a program. It’s an orientation to how I live, and why I do this work.
How might your life transform when your body becomes your greatest teacher and the wave of information becomes your most trusted guide?
I live my life from a state of perpetual downloads from the infinite potential that is seeking to be tapped. These spontaneous insights or truths that arrive whole, often without logic—like wisdom dropped into your awareness fully formed.
I am mindful that I live what some consider a privileged life – but to me, living in alignment with the information from the Signal of Truth is our collective birthright.
The Signal is often a subtle, unmistakable sensation you feel in your body when something deeply real is present. It often doesn't make any sense to the logical mind because we are not trained to pay attention to it.
Cultural conditioning is a cage dressed as safety.
Many of us have forgotten how to listen, and we have convinced ourselves of some really silly stuff – that’s the power of cultural conditioning, when we intake its information-as-fact before the age of 7, we live a lifetime trapped within its limitations.
Recently, I had an epiphany, and these words made their way to my awareness: I am here to awaken the blueprint of being human—before it's forgotten.
My body let me know that THIS is my declared intention, and because it feels so massive, my culturally conditioned mind kicks in “does that even make any sense to anyone?!” …I would love to know: does it make sense to you?
The thing is that it takes time for the mind to catch up to what the body has to say. And too often, we capitulate the vibration of truth to the vibration of (culturally conditioned) certainty. So our lives become a reflection back to us of which space we are choosing to live from – potential or certainty?
I get it, fear is a state of mind that is difficult to integrate without knowing how. It takes over our body and we believe it is the voice of truth rather than the messenger. Layers upon layers – that’s how integration happens.
This recent download I received came as I was reading Gregg Braden’s new book “Pure Human”. This man, like me, is a visionary of potential. He speaks to it. He lives it. He believes it. He knows who he is and he knows his message to the world.
I do, too.
But I’ve played small.
Yet the information that came through the download recently was profound – my mission is BIG. It’s not wide, it’s deep – can you feel the difference?
But when the universe speaks through your body so clearly that every cell recognizes the truth in the vibration of the message, you cannot deny its truth.
So today, I want to share with you a few thoughts about awakening, the body as the receiver - transmitter of information, and about what it really means to embrace authentic living as a way of life.
The wave is the point.
In our line of work, everything we do is centered around naming the wave, claiming its message, and choosing from the truth of it once the body has settled.
[The wave I'm referring to is a surge of physical and emotional energy that carries the truth with it— felt as sensation, intuition, movement. It’s how your body says “pay attention.” If you're curious about what is a wave and how do you know, I invite you to listen to this 3 minutes audio track by Louise LeBrun.]
Think of the wave as the instruction, the body as the processor, and your intellect as the mouse (making the choice).
This wave is the Life Force that each of us is, communicating with the body in a physical realm. It’s how you know truth is present. This is not metaphorical—it's literal.
Your body responds with waves you might label shivers, shakes, the feeling of potential and possibility flooding your system. This wave is what lets you know: I am ALIVE! And pay attention…
But – and this is big but – we've been taught to fear the wave. We’ve been taught to shun, shame, deny, dismiss the wave. To resist and brace against the wave. To drug the wave.
In doing so, we cause ourselves pain. Because the wave is the source of life itself – it’s what you are as a human being. That wave, which is the source of power, of love, of divinity itself (not a religious sense).
In moments of awakening allowed, magic is present. Reclamation is effortless. Transcendence is transforming—the body, the mind, reality, the very process of living. You know the truth. You feel the resonance. The vibration of harmony. You trust the process undoubtedly. And in doing so, you discover more of the Truth that you are.
Your body is the instrument that can set you free.
As I allowed myself to receive these downloads, I became acutely aware of the role of my body. Day one of my period—my body opening downward to let the flow move downhill. Wave after wave. As above, so below. My womb a microcosm of my world. My body the antenna for it all.
This is no coincidence.
When I open my body to receive, movement beckons. My womb is open. My body is open. My mind is open. Information simply flows effortlessly.
It’s hard to explain what this looks like in words, but if you’ve never experienced it, consider this metaphor: imagine there’s a river of water flowing downstream. As it does, it penetrates new spaces and creates a path where it didn’t exist before. It fills in the path it is intended to fill. Your attention – the choice in the moment – invites and allows it to be in flow and go where it is seeking to go. You intentionally soften the body and breathe for space so that movement can be in flow.
For me, during this download, it was inhaling and holding for a moment, then exhaling intentionally. The inhale is the invite; the exhale is the allow.
“Invite and allow” is the mantra that guides it all. The holding on the inhale roots the truth of the discovery at the base of my spine, so that the wave transforms what I know to be true. I trust it. Unwaveringly. Through the wave.
Embracing that wave, moving.
In a different reality—the one most of us are programmed to live in—I would stop the flow of where the water (the wave) wants to go. I’d put up a dam and try to “keep it together”. I’d try to stop these downloads, to shut them down because of fear. Instead of opening up, I'd pull in on my womb, bracing against its wisdom. I'd put barriers up against it in my chest, ending up feeling utterly powerless. Choosing, instead, to choke on smoke to make the pain of bracing go away.
Habit would kick in. The muscle memory of familiarity. Loop, repeating, bracing. Closed loops, as Louise LeBrun brilliantly calls them. Recycled movement with no flow. Just pain. That's all you know—the pain of powerlessness that is, quite frankly, intolerable. You feel its grip, seemingly inescapable. Trapped, like a gentle, wild animal caged in, simply seeking to live free.
The cycle must be interrupted.
Atrophy from repetition is killing us. It is making us smaller and smaller, tighter and tighter, wrapping ourselves around our pain. Compressed into a reality that we know is not the truth of who we “be”. Our habituated habits are not our friends. So often, neither are our friends, but we’re taught it’s not nice to speak the truth so we play pretend.
"Hurt people hurt people. That's all there is to it."
If you're hurt, you're hurting someone—whether or not you know it, whether or not you admit it, whether or not you dare to look at it. Someone you deeply love. Probably the person you love most: your children. And they will, in turn, hurt the people they love. On and on it goes...
That's the untamable beauty of infinity. It has space and time on its side, that’s how it shapes destiny. But here's the recognition that, when claimed, transforms your life: I AM infinity. I AM that which I seek. I AM.
The story you tell yourself: Existentialism.
In my upcoming book, I dive deeper into the normalized pain of existentialism.
I lived in that state for years. It took me down a dark path that I only wanted to escape from. The details of my experience of existentialism are unique to me; but the process is universal in our culture.
How many people in our world feel disconnected, discontent, and disheartened? How many feel powerless in creating other-than the status quo they’re living? How many people feel like their life is meaningful? How many feel like their life is worth living?
I spent a decade drowning in addiction, locked in psychiatric units, desperate to make the pain go away – and now, I’m sharing my experience of living a different, empowered way.
Awakening to our inner truth is not easy. It goes against everything we believe to be true in this society. Awakening demands you play offense against everything you’ve internalized as real and true your whole life.
But the fact that it’s hard does not stop the women who hunger to discover – it stops only those who are not ready yet, or not willing.
My question for you is this: What story do you tell yourself about yourself? Does it ever occur to you that THAT'S what creates your reality?
When you change the script, you change the game. You literally change your reality. Easier said than done—it's true. But those who seek shall find. But will they trust it? Will you?
The ones who do, live well. They have moments that flow one into the other that remind them of what it means to be fully alive.
"Your fate is sealed when your prophecy is read!"
The magnetic pull of authenticity.
Some people are either magnets or repellents. Why? Because they are unwavering from living what they know. And that matters, because the more fully alive and vibrant you are, the more I know myself as wholeness too.
This is why the groups of women gathering, talking through this paradigm, makes such a huge difference in how we remember.
One woman told me, “Ever since the moment I met you I’ve experienced increased green dot moments, insights and continued invitations. It’s murky for sure but then boom! Pure light, clarity and knowing… I noticed today how the universe has ramped up lol.”
Freedom is the name of the game I'm in.
Freedom to live and let live.
In moments of true awakening, there's no room for tolerance of any bullshit inside yourself. You know only what's real and true. And you want MORE!
There's no fear here. Nothing but love. The visceral recognition that ignorance is a state of being of the unwilling—filled with pain, no compassion, therefore no passion. Not life. No Force. Getting smaller and smaller, rounder and rounder, until the spine collapses on itself and all that’s left is a shell of what used to be.
This is why my mission feels so big: I'm here to really LIVE it! And I want YOU to live it with me—not because I say so, but because you feel it too.
Here to awaken the blueprint of being human—before it's forgotten.
This. Is. It.
This is why I’m writing my book.
This is why I do what I do.
This is my purpose on this planet, at this strange time of certain bifurcation.
For those who are unwilling to go with the effortless flow of the status quo, you must discover how else to live. If you’re curious, I’m here to show you, to guide you, to walk with you. I've walked the path over and over and I’m here to be the safety that’s required for you to trust yourself, the process, and the discoveries.
It's time for us to discover how to deCODE the messages of our body, because it's the ultimate truth-teller. If you want to live in truth, learn how to listen through the language of your body. Learn to align with your internal truth.
The work we do at the Institute offers an alternative way to navigate your reality.
It’s a life-giving, soul-nourishing process for living that shows you how to trust yourself so you create a life that belongs to you.
It shows you a different way to live that renders you resourceful, resilient and powerful in the creation of your meaningful life – no matter what the world is doing.
Louise LeBrun, the Founder of the work, recently said to me: “if you don’t give yourself permission to separate, you go down when the ship sinks”.
Not everyone knows the ship is sinking and they’re busy rearranging chairs on the top deck.
But if you know there’s more to reality than meets the eye and you want to discover it now, know that I’m here and so is a small group of women seeking to evolve beyond what they’ve believed was possible for them.
We are rooting for you, with deep and unshakeable RIG.
You made it all the way here. That tells me something.
If you feel called, reply and share the moment that resonated the deepest.
Or if you're still thinking “WTF is she talking about?”… ask me.
I read and reply to every message.