Transformation — change — is the essence of my being, and yours.
I have known I have been on the brink of a Signal change for a while now. For those of you who are familiar with the notion of Signal, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
When I’m anchored in the truth of why I’m here—on this planet, at this time—life moves with more ease. Even in moments when uncertainty floods my system and I can’t see what’s next... even when I’ve poured half my savings into flashy “business coaching” that taught me nothing useful (because I don’t coach from strategy down—I work at the level of identity)—I know to return to the essence of my Signal. To root there. And from that place, take full ownership of my choices, so I can unbind myself from the illusions and strategies crafted by the genius of my four-year-old self seeking desperately to protect herself.
If the notion of a Signal is brand new to you, this is the best resource I can provide you to familiarize yourself, if you're at all curious. If you are familiar with the fact that we are not our bodies but the animating Life Force, then this 45 minute clip will be very helpful in clarifying what gets in the way of us trusting the Truth that we are.
Truth-Telling in a Pretend World...
You see, I spend my life -- my whole life, being in these incredible, enriching, life-affirming conversations. No matter where I go, no matter who I am speaking with, I do not silence myself for (appeasing my perception of) their comfort. I also do not beat a dead horse-- I know when to let go. But I do not sugarcoat, and I do not pretend, either. In that, I live free …
Free of societal pressures.
Free of internal constraints.
Free of the pressure to sustain illusions for the purposes of keeping up pretenses — pretending.
Noticing the truth is something that has always come so naturally to me. I could see the bigger picture and how the dots interconnect, and I never understood why the truth did not take root in the external reality. I never understood the adult world, and to be honest, I still don’t.
The difference is that I have stopped trying to understand and simply accept — this is how it is. The collective consciousness is shaping our individual realities. And our individual realities feed and shape the collective consciousness — it’s a feedback loop. Each and every single one of us is a thought virus —the question becomes, what are you spreading?
The deeper the internal terror, the louder the external outrage.
The Cost of Silence, The Power of Innocence
Children, in the immensity of their innocence, feel deeply. They love freely. They speak unapologetically.
They piss us off. And because of that, we violate their innocence and demand they tolerate it.
As a child, you and I are taught through the process of parenting to pretend that our family is honky-dory, that our parents love us unconditionally, and that they always have our best interests at heart.
The lie detector of life determined: that was a lie. I won’t go into the details of this because it’s too deep and too raw and too painful for most people, but I will say this — when innocence speaks, it only speaks The Truth of what it witnesses. And that is precisely why it is punished — we seem to have a zero tolerance for truth in our collectives.
Truth shakes up the status quo.
Truth makes us feel uncomfortable.
Truth shatters illusions.
But when we need to sustain the illusion in order to keep functioning status quo, we imagine the truth is the threat and our children pay the price.
You see, our bodies are designed for processing paradox and complexity; they are not designed to live in contradiction. Yet we teach our children how to live in contradictory states because we are unwilling to embrace the ugly tenants of our truth and free ourselves of the secrets and lies that keep us captive to a stale, rotting reality. Patterns repeat.
Our children’s tiny bodies are desperate to make sense of the contradictory state of their inner cues. So they develop intelligent coping strategies that help them manage for survival. They try desperately to control their internal state to be able to tolerate the external reality imposed upon them. They have no choice — they cannot pack up their bags and leave (until they can, of course). But they have no resources, because the people who are supposed to help them regulate have long ago checked out — lights on, no one home.
I can think of no more desperate internal state for a child than to seek intimacy, warmth and connection from an empty shell of a body, barely coping.
Truly, children are the only ones who are really powerless in our society.
These explorations are front and center in my awareness as I prepare to facilitate the deep trauma healing that is theEngaging and Awakening Othersintensive, starting tomorrow. Each and every single woman who has signed up for that deep dive has expressed terror to be in that exploration — they know, once they do, they can never go back to their status quo. And the women who said yes? Well, they don’t want to. They know what the status quo has to offer, and they are choosing not-that.
They are choosing to find a way to live in alignment with who they are — not who they have been told they should be.
Personally, I am buzzing with joy to have that exploration! I know it’s potential, because I live it daily. The family systems roots rot us from the inside, because it’s the taboo conversation we are not allowed to have.
It’s the place we learn masks are normal, truth is shunned, and the messenger always gets shot.
It’s where we learn that our innocence is more threatening to the status quo than the secrets and lies, so we live steeped in secrets and lies.
It’s where we learn to worship the illusion and shun the truth for fear of offending someone.
But no one speaks of “it” that way. We all collectively pretend. There’s a giant bleeding elephant head in the room but we politely tiptoe around it.
Being made to accept violence as normal will do that to a person. That belief system drives us crazy. So we find creative ways to numb ourselves — sex, drugs and rock n’ roll. But there’s also mindless scrolling, dissociating, avoiding, raging against, over working, etc etc etc. I wrote about those strategies below:
There was a time where I wanted to save everyone — to help them come out of the murky muddy waters of the family systems lies so they live in truth. After all, it’s an incredible place to live! Who wouldn’t want that?!
THE hardest thing I’ve ever had to accept is that not everyone wants to live in truth.
Most people are too afraid, or too enraged, or too convinced, or too fill-in-the-blank to even consider it. They just don’t want to.
It’s hard work awakening. It’s harder still to stay awake. That takes intentionality, presence, mindfullness. It takes a deep desire to perpetually live in truth. It takes a hunger and a tenacity few give themselves permission to discover they have it.
The women I work with know this well. They also know it’s a process of living — I either choose to live in the default, and I know the consequences of that, OR I choose to live this alternative way and trust in the genius of my creations (a lot of presuppositions in that statement, I know — I challenge you to unpack them!).
And we’re back to: not everyone wants to. The work to change is too hard, and the temptation to stay the same is too strong. Plus the rewards for being compliant and complacent are culturally valued, so it’s easy to defer to those internalized external voices that normalize and validate self-betrayal.
Nominalizations like “in-tact family” or having “good manners” are killing our species. Women repeatedly violate themselves and allow their children to be violated in the name of “keeping the family together”. Women repeatedly deny themselves and their children the gift of boundaries in the name of behaving appropriately.
The freedom that comes from letting those bulshit stories integrate cannot be understated — it is on par to the fear that holds it in tact.
We’re back to integrating the fear is hard work. And no one can do the work for you. Yet we keep waiting to be saved … prince charming, however, wears a deceptive cloak that hides the beast of who he really is. And a beast he really is …
In a filtered world where illusion is real and real is illusion, I’m here to simply explore and question.
In a world where AI is replacing our voice, I’m here to speak authentically.
In a world that values pretending and pretenses over actually living, I’m here to reclaim my birthright to Create!
In a world devoted to protecting the secrets and lies rather than their children’s innocence, I’m here to become the living expression of Truth — and invite you to join in me in living your life, Fully Alive!
It’s a wonderful place of power, and it comes with immense and sacred personal response-ability. I believe we are all up to the challenge, if the hunger is there.
As you can likely sense, the shift in the Signal that I AM has led me to a path of trusting the power of Innocence to shape it’s world, without fear. The truth is what it is … the only question worth asking yourself is: are you curious to discover it and live from it?
Whatever the answer, trust yourself. If the answer is yes, however, let’s talk.
PS - I started a Substack blog because I LOVE the community that the women of WEL-Systems® are building on there. I was pulled to the platform because of that communal aspect. Which means that it will be where I will post my most personal and intimate writings. 📰 Read with us there!
