Imagine a reality where your mindset convinces you that having a child is a bad thing. That contributing to the most magnificent species on this planet is a bad thing. Imagine being convinced that your existence is wrong.
That’s where I was a few years ago. I believed life was random and chaotic. I believed our species was a parasite. I believed my son wouldn’t have a future because of what I believed about the climate crisis.
My heart hurts just writing that. Back then, my body hurt too— but I used drugs to numb the pain, among other clever escapist modalities.
I had no idea how powerful I am. I had no idea how powerful human beings innately are.
Like the majority of Canadians today (80%, it turns out), I believed that the climate crisis would lead to extinction. It caused me deep distress. It caused me to spend a year pondering if I should have a child! I talked about this choice at that time with Dean Walker, find the interview here.
Today, this mindset feels dirty. It feels yucky. It feels as thought I was duped.
I was sold a narrative that perpetuated deep existential shame of existence, and I bought into it because I believed that our species was … well, a parasite.
But our species awake to itself is the most beautiful, powerful, joyful expression of existence on this planet.
Our species, awake to the truth of what we are (Signal from Source), is magic.
Our species, awake to its authenticity, is, quite frankly, an expression of existence that I cannot put into words.
My problems a mere 8 years ago stemmed not from the truth of who I am, but from not knowing mySelf.
When the story of another convinces you to buy into their truth and never discover your own, you spend a lifetime fearing yourself. Hating yourself. Raging against yourself. As if … you’re the enemy. But you’re most certainly not.
⤶ If you’re in this space too—no longer who you were, not yet who you’re becoming— this month’s The In-Between workshop is for you.
It breaks my heart that so many of us are raised to believe that a state of powerlessness is real.
We are taught, beginning our process of being parented, that we are not enough – we have to prove ourselves in order to earn our keep on this planet. We have to work hard and do as we’re told to fit in.
The underlying undercurrent of that belief system that perpetuated the cultural conditioning we internalize is: I am not enough.
That is an identity statement that we carry with us, most of us for life. So we continue to buy into it and perpetuate it because we don’t know what else to do.
In that kind of mindset, it is easy to install a belief system that says “humanity is doomed”, and 56% of youth buy into it. What happens to a species when its youth believe there is no point?
A long time ago, I wrote about my decision to have a child in the midst of what I believed to be a climate collapse. Despite my struggles, I am eternally grateful to myself for being able to hear the deeper truth that was beckoning me:
The truth of my Soul is that becoming a mother is one of the most personal and intimate experiences I am meant to experience in this lifetime, in this body.
Indeed, this turned out to be true.
When I look at my son, I don’t see a parasite. I see an eternal and infinite being of light rejoicing in his physical existence. I see an intentional being who chose to be here, with us, in our family. I see a life full of possibility and potential waiting to be reclaimed.
A sovereign being walking his path.
I don’t doubt that my son will face difficulties in life, and those will be different than what I believed they might be before I birthed him. They will likely be different than what I believe they might be now! But the point is: my son is a resourceful and resilient being of light that will, undoubtedly, live a life worthy of the Force that he is.
Cultural conditioning is powerful, folks. (I realize I talk about this a lot but have yet to define it, so I'll write a piece on what I mean by this this soon.)
I have long been writing about and talking about the power of perception planted before the age of 7 and culturally reinforced throughout a lifetime. It’s nearly impossible to unsubscribe from mindsets installed during that vulnerable age. So we go a lifetime believing our gifted reality because of the internal and external pressures to comply.
What happens when you wake up to a different reality?
What happens inside you if you’re confronted with a different reality that directly contradicts everything you’ve ever believed to be real and true?
What happens inside you if you wake up to a different reality that directly contradicts what everyone you know believes is real?
What are the consequences of awakening?
… go ahead, take a moment and ponder that through your nervous system.
The fear of those perceived consequences is what holds most people back. They fear imposter syndrome. They fear their families won’t like them. They fear they won’t belong. They fear isolation, humiliation, shunning. They fear exclusion.
No one wants to be an outsider.
If you don’t trust your own power to create a reality that maps to the truth of who you are, you will keep creating a reality from the belief systems you adopted when you were two. And that’s not a fun way to live …
Awakening is a whisper.
Before you close this blog and go back to your life, I want to name something clearly: You don’t need to agree with me. You don’t have to change your mind or dismantle everything you believe. Awakening isn’t a demand—it’s an invitation.
And that invitation doesn’t come from me – it comes from within you.
Because the truth is: nothing outside of you can free you. No ideology. No movement. No government. No guru. Only you, choosing to meet the truth of yourself in the moments that matter.
Here’s the thing, despite the prevailing belief out there, awakening isn’t loud. It’s not a lightning bolt moment. It’s a quiet yet revolutionary moment in the middle of your ordinary day when you hear yourself think—and finally listen. It’s a whisper that says: maybe I’m not broken. Maybe I’m just remembering.
Awakening is a way of life…
So take what resonates. Leave what doesn’t. And trust that what’s true for you will keep revealing itself – will you choose to listen? Because that’s where the real work happens. That’s where the next layer lives. That’s where you meet yourSelf—over and over again.
And when you do, you won’t be waiting for permission to be powerful. You’ll remember you already are.
I’m beginning a series of live, unscripted conversations with deep thinkers who are actively navigating change, emergence, and what it means to update ourselves and how we operate in a world that no longer follows the old rules.
It’s called Boundless LeaderSelf — Live.
These are sense-making conversations you’re welcome to listen in on, or step into through your questions, as they unfold.
🗓️ The first conversation is on January 17 withJill Reilly, whose work explores permission, adaptation, and designing how we live in the 21st century.
If this kind of live inquiry speaks to you, I would love for you to join us. I’ll share more very soon.