I hand my son his smoothie.
He takes a sip.
“I don’t like these strawberries, mommy.”
I pause.
In my discomfort in the moment, I ponder to myself: Do I tell him the truth?
As always when confronted within such a moment, I choose yes.
“Well, I also added cherries to your smoothie today.”
He hands me the drink, and immediately starts crying. I hold him and I apologize for trying to trick him – I know he only likes strawberries.
Once he stops crying for a moment, I ask him if he felt tricked. In a nanosecond again, he starts crying, “yeeees.”
You see, I tried to trick my son “for his own good” (aka more nutrients) hoping he wouldn’t notice.
But of course, he did. All children do. And he felt—rightfully so—betrayed.
Isn’t that how we all feel the nanosecond we find out someone had been hiding the truth from us all along?
That moment reminded me:
Authenticity isn’t soft. It’s nuclear. Most of us are terrified of what it might destroy. And because of that, we hold our truth close to our chest, choosing instead to suffocate on the untruth rather than risk revealing what’s real.
The power of the process of authenticity, revealed cannot be denied. It is THE most transformational Force on the planet when it is engaged. This is why it is feared by most — it has the capacity to transform.
In our evolution through the WEL-Systems® paradigm, we are invited to slow down sufficiently to become both willing and able to live our lives not from the stories of the past (or the intellect), but the truth of the moment.
This is not an easy feat.
We are — to put it lightly — coerced in every which way to comply. To keep things status quo. To really really want a different relationship, but not dare to become different. To really really want an authentic relationship, but not dare to reveal authentically. To really really want an intimate relationship, but not dare to speak the truth.
I get it— it’s hard. To be in the moment you are in and to share what’s there to share about yourself. To speak to the process, not the content of the revelation. To say: here’s what I’m noticing in me right now—even if it isn’t polished, packaged, or pleasant.
To share the truth of the moment, not the predetermined outcome in our minds.
This is the difference between performance (i.e. how am I being perceived?) and impact (i.e. how authentic am I being in this moment ... telling my truth about me?).
The struggle to find words is often the byproduct of trying to be subtle, to not rock the boat, to avoid the consequences that we think may come from saying what is there to be said.
So we hold back. Caught in a web of desperately wanting a different reality and unwilling or unable to go there for fear of what will be revealed or what will happen.
It’s fucking hard being intentionally authentic. There is no room for mind games, especially within ourselves. There is only room for the truth of the moment, reclaimed.
If this speaks to you, I’d love for you to join me in the Who I Become When I’m With You workshop.
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Authenticity is an unfuckwithable boundary.
How would you live your life if you said what you meant and you meant what you said?
Who would you have to choose to become to reveal your Self? To give voice to your truth? To claim the moment you are in?
Authentic relationships are hard work because they demand we show up authentically.
We dare to reveal.
We don’t hold back.
We share our internal state and we have boundaries inside ourselves.
And yes, it’s terrifying.
What will happen if I reveal? Who will stay? Who will go? Will I be abandoned? Will I be alone? Will I be happy? Will I be shamed? Will I be shunned? Will I be humiliated? Will I be loved? Will I be cherished? Will I be nurtured?
These are the fears that hold us back.
Because we tell stories about it that make the fear feel real.
So we don’t question it. We swallow our truth. We clench our teeth. We shut the wave of Truth down. And in the process, we betray ourSelves and accept betrayal from others.
After all, if we’re unwilling to be real with ourselves, why should anyone else be?
If we’re unwilling to own the truth of our own experience inside ourselves, why should anyone else trust us?
No matter what story you tell yourself, if you’re not being honest, you’re being dishonest.
What do you believe would happen if you just chose to let go?
What’s your worst case scenario?
What if ... it’s an illusion?
When you stop trying to be perceived the “right” way, you finally get to be who you are.
If you’re curious about who that could be…
👉 Join us for this month's workshop